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/// HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
 
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 1999 » BACK TO HOPVINE INDEX
 
HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
From Russia with Love Dept.: Mexican brewer Grupo Modelo charged recently that a Russian brewer was making a beer called Corona. The bogus Corona brand produced by the Rosar Brewery began appearing in Russia in 1996. Its label appears in the Cyrillic alphabet, and the bottle is darker than Corona's trademark clear bottle (thereby inhibiting some of the subtle nuances of skunk that fans of the phenomenally popular original demand). And just where the heck in Russia can you get good limes? Where’s James Bond when we need him… Old Russian proverb: “The church is near, but the road is icy. The tavern is far, but we will walk carefully.”

This Bud’s for… well, him. The Arizona Daily Star reported that a Budweiser distributor driver was arrested for delivering a different kind of bud altogether. Geez, we thought that Electric Dave demonstrated why that’s not such a good idea…

Speaking of buds, Oregon’s North Plains Elephant Garlic Festival had a lot to offer. As with Gilroy’s famous Garlic Festival in California, an assortment of garlic foods was available, from pickled garlic to roasted teriyaki garlic shooters, BBQ garlic, garlic sausages and burgers, garlic pizzas and prawns, garlic lemonade (yikes!) and many other “delicacies.” Music featured the Nudie Blues headlining on Saturday night (I’ve seen a lot of blues musicians, but I can’t think of many I’d want to see nude). Along with an assortment of fine wines and beers was a very special garlic Weizen from Saxer Brewery in Lake Oswego, Ore. “Forget the lemon,” said the brewery. “Just put a slice of garlic in there!” Yeow! The slogan for the festival? “Fun Stinks!”…

Timing! Frank Rodriguez, a 28-year-old surgical tech from Lubbock, Texas, walked off a Coors tour bus to be greeted by company chairman William K. Coors himself! Bill Coors presented Rodriguez with a medallion as the 11 millionth visitor to tour the Golden, Colo., brewery. Bill talked about the tour program founded by his father, Adolph Coors II, to disprove misconceptions about beer after Prohibition. The brewery tour was the last stop for Rodriguez, who was finishing a vacation in Colorado. After being honored by Bill Coors, Rodriguez was given a VIP tour of the brewery, ending with complimentary beer in the hospitality lounge and a $300 shopping spree in the company's gift shop.

St. Austell Brewery, a U.K. brewer based in Cornwall, southwest England, is selling a beer called “Daylight Robbery” in connection with the solar eclipse that was visible in the south of England a few months ago. Sales were reported to be “astronomical,” according to the brewery. Seems a lot of people were buying the bottle as a collector's item even if they weren’t drinking the beer. Daylight robbery, indeed…

Here’s a pisser for ya… Two men within two weeks, on the same airline flying to Amsterdam, relieved themselves on their seats, in the isles and on other passengers! One man had waited 26 hours in Cairo (apparently without relief) before peeing all over the airliner. The other, an American, reportedly consumed eight cans of beer during the flight before dropping his pants, stumbling through the aircraft with a glass of ale in his hand and finally urinating over three seats and his neighbor's sleeve. Dutch military police fined the two men $480 each for unruly behavior. The airline reportedly intends to press charges against the American for cleaning costs “and disrupting fellow travelers.” So, what was the movie on those flights — "A River Runs Through It?" "On Golden Pond"?…

Air travel in West Africa is more interesting. A recent newspaper article reported a flight attendant delivering beer to the cockpit crew … while they were in the air! No one got peed upon…

Beer Quote for this month: "Everybody's old enough for a beer, ain't that right, Mule?" — Jack Nicholson in "The Last Detail"…

Remember, it takes 1,249 gallons of water to turn out a barrel of beer…

The Celebrator Editorial Office gets copied on more than its share of nasty letters from lawyers (do they write any other kind?) threatening all sorts of things for all sorts of alleged offenses. A few days ago, on official Law Firm letterhead, the following appeared in our fax machine: “It has recently come to our attention that [Full Sail Brewery] claims to be the ‘first and only’ wholly employee-owned brewery in America. This is a misrepresentation and, on behalf of our client [Brian Hunt], we demand an immediate retraction and apology. Full Sail is neither ‘first’ nor ‘only.’ Moonlight Brewery, Windsor, Calif., is and has been since 1992 a wholly employee-owned and -managed microbrewery. In compensation for your egregious misrepresentation, and our concomitant stress and severe emotional pain and suffering, we make the following demand: One case of your finest ale for each of the owners-employees (total = one case); and One case of your finest ale as attorney’s fees. We know you will take this matter seriously and we expect a positive response… or else we’ll have to go out and actually spend our own money for some of your great brew.” Signed, Tony Wilde, Esq.

 

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