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/// HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
 
DECEMBER 2000/JANUARY 2001 » BACK TO HOPVINE INDEX
 
HEARD IT THROUGH THE HOPVINE
Shame on Coors Brewing for using the image of the late John Wayne as a football coach in its commercials with sports model Howie Long. Sure, the “estate” (i.e., those charged with maintaining and enhancing the revenue stream from his enormous body of artistic work) probably jumped at the idea, but that doesn’t make it right… or tasteful. Let’s sell beer the old-fashioned way — tits and ass… Oh yeah, and the “finest ingredients,” whatever that is… Coors “It’s the water!” Brewery is only now recovering from the negative publicity it received when a worker accidentally sent some 2,000 barrels of beer into adjacent Clear Creek, killing over 50,000 fish (who apparently don’t drink like themselves). OOPS. Fines are contemplated along with a name change to Not-So-Clear Creek…

Britain accused Iraq's President Saddam Hussein of spending lavishly on luxuries for his cronies while ordinary Iraqis suffered under a decade of war and economic sanctions. Saddam bestows luxuries on his privileged pals, including a lakeside resort in Tharthar, a mere 85 miles west of Baghdad, with special hospitals, an amusement park and a safari park reportedly filled with deer and elephants… and beer! (Who does he think he is, Michael Jackson? Not THAT Michael Jackson…) The British government charged that Iraq was importing hundreds of millions of cigarettes and hundreds of thousands of liters of alcohol every month while at the same time complaining of horrendous humanitarian shortages. United Nations officials had recorded Iraqi imports of more than 300 million cigarettes, 28,000 bottles of whiskey, 230,000 cans of beer (cans?), 120,000 cans of vodka and almost 19,000 bottles of wine… a month! Wonder what his antialcohol Arab brothers think of such excesses…

Election News: The St. Louis Post-Dispatch printed an editorial denouncing the sponsorship of the recent presidential debate by Anheuser-Busch. Our main man in St. Louis, Tom Schlafly, was quick to the pen (being mightier than the sword), pointing out that George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both operated breweries, that Harvard College operated a brewery on campus in its first century, and that Vassar College was founded through the generosity of Matthew Vassar, owner of one of the largest breweries of his day. “In short,” stated Mr. Schlafly (owner of the Saint Louis Brewery, BTW), “their neoprohibitionist screed notwithstanding, the sponsorship by a brewery of a presidential debate on a college campus is perfectly in keeping with proud American traditions.” Glad we got Schlafly on our side…

The ranks of the world's classic beers will reclaim one of their own from the scrap heap of brewing history when the legendary Swiss winter beer Samichlaus (once listed as the strongest beer in the world) will be rescued from oblivion and brewed in Austria. Of course, it will be brewed at a different brewery in a different country and shipped by a different distributor than the one that made it famous, and will no doubt be brewed on a different date from the traditional December 6 of the year preceding its release. Other than that, it should be good as new…

Don Erickson reports that TransAm series competitor Tom Miller is a favorite among auto race workers nationwide. He delivered 10 cases of Moose Drool Brown Ale, courtesy of his sponsor, Big Sky Brewing, to the track workers at every race. Not surprisingly, Tom's #47 Ford Mustang was a popular sight during the past season.

Diaper Pail Ale Dept.: A newspaper recently reported that some supermarkets are stocking beer next to the baby diapers due to market research that indicated men with infant children buy diapers on their way home from work. Marketing…

From the Oregon Brew Crew listserve comes this observation: “As I was contemplating the probable likelihood of President Geo. Dub Shrub (aka President Nader), I wondered what was the perfect beer to toast this remarkable event in American politics. What else but a 10-year-old Knucklehead?”…

Thank you, Dave Berry, the Miami humorist (an oxymoron?) who noted that “not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” Thanks, Dave. Now go to your room…

The recently held Olympics in Sydney set many new records. Olympic Village was stocked with 50,000 condoms (many scored, but few medaled), and Foster’s was said to have supplied 450 bars in the park complex with enough beer to fill five Olympic-size swimming pools! A better use for “Foster’s — It’s Australian for beer, mate” I couldn’t imagine…

No less a financial authority than The Wall Street Journal reports that workers excavating the site of the original Hewlett-Packard headquarters in Palo Alto, Calif., discovered an unopened case of 1940 Lucky Lager beer under the old building. Speculation has it that Bill (Hewlett) and Dave (Packard), founders of the Silly Con Valley, were real, down-to-earth folks who rewarded their workers with the first of many beer busts that seem to have fueled the e-commies ever since. Back in those days, Fridays were known as “Think Blue Sky Days” where employees were encouraged to think “far out” and dress down. The bottles will be put on display in H-P’s sibling Agilent’s new building. It’s Lucky when you live in America…

 

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