| AUG/SEP
2006 | COLUMNS | HOP CAEN
Heard It Through The Hopvine
By Hop Caen
Send any items you might have to hopvine@celebrator.com.
Dirty Water Blues Dept.: The Standells
song “Dirty Water” can be heard blaring from the
speakers at Fenway Park in Boston after every Red Sox victory
(both of them) and is a part of the baseball-crazy Beantown
legacy. The 1966 hit recently turned up in some Budweiser
commercials, according to an Associated Press story. This
was a big surprise to the band. The Standells’ management
has filed suit to a different tune — the tune of one
million dollars. The song, which made it to Number 11 on Billboard's
Top 40 chart, immortalizes Boston's once infamously polluted
waterways. "I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're
my home." Muddying the water further, Bud scored no points
with that town…
A landlord in beer-loving Utah entered his
rental property after the tenant vacated and found a stash
of at least 70,000 Coors Light beer cans! Empty Coors Light
beer cans. The cans covered every floor and surface in the
place and were at least waist-deep. Seems the former tenant
was out of work and just stayed home and drank Coors all day.
He stopped drinking and now has a job. The landlord recycled
the cans for about $800. Probably more than the clever former
tenant now makes in a month…
Kinky Friedman (remember the Texas Jewboys?)
is a-runnin' for governor in Texas. I guess he figures that
if George W. Bush could do it, so can he. Mr. Friedman (I
just can't bring myself to call him Kinky), who is noted for
his trademark black cowboy hat and cigar, was grand marshal
in a St. Patrick's Day parade in Dallas this year when an
enthusiastic fan put a can of Guinness in his hand. Quick
on the draw, Mr. Friedman took a big swig off the can, thereby
violating a Texas law about open containers and automobiles.
Back in Lyndon Johnson's day, it was not only legal but expected.
Not anymore. The Class C misdemeanor had a maximum fine of
$500. For Guinness! Friedman, not noted for being PC, was
quoted as saying, "Guinness is the drink that kept the
Irish from taking over the world. It would be unthinkable
not to have a Guinness during a St. Patrick's Day parade.
In fact, it would be spiritually wrong!" Friedman is
best known for his song “Drop-Kick Me, Jesus, Through
the Goal Posts of Life.” Go, Kinky…
Beer Technology Dept.: A beer mat that knows
when a glass is nearly empty and automatically asks for a
refill has been created by thirsty researchers in —
where else? — Germany. Andreas Butz at the University
of Munich and Michael Schmitz from Saarland University came
up with the idea while out drinking with their students. The
disc-shaped mat can be attached to a normal beer mat so that
it still soaks up liquid and displays an advertisement. But
it also contains a pressure sensor and a radio transmitter
to alert bar staff of the need for a refill. The future is
looking brighter when your pub mat does your thinking for
you…
Judge Jeffrey K. Sprecher of Berks County,
Pa., dismissed charges against a man in August for buying
beer for his underage neighbor, ruling that the prosecutor
hadn't proved all of the elements of the crime. Specifically,
said Sprecher, there was no evidence offered by the prosecution
that Miller Genuine Draft is "beer." Even our new
Supreme Court would have trouble arguing with that logic.…
"I am a SNOB. And now I could be a WABL. Or would that
make me a WABLing SNOB?" asks beer goddess Lisa Morrison.
Lisa, a founding member of SNOB (Support Native Oregon Beer),
is also a fan of WABL (Washington Beer Lovers). WABLing SNOBs
will be in great profusion at this year's Oregon Brewers Festival
and all during what is now being billed as Oregon Beer Month.
I may have left my heart in San Francisco, but Don Younger
got my liver…
Starbuck/Bock Wars Gets a Shiner: A federal
judge heard arguments recently in a trademark infringement
case that pits coffee giant Starbucks Corporation against
a café owner who once sold a beer he called StarBock.
U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent said he would decide the case
in August. Rex Bell, owner of Galveston's Acoustic Café,
said he began selling the draft beer in 2002 after he combined
Lone Star and Shiner Bock beers into a glass for a customer,
suggesting he try a "Star Bock." Get it? As more
customers began ordering the beer, Bell said he decided to
register the name and found that the one-word name “StarBock”
was available. He paid $355 to register the trademark and
continued to sell his beer under the two-word name “Star
Bock.” Starbucks' lawyers said Bell was aware of the
similarity to the Seattle-based coffee company's name and
wanted to cash in on it. Bell filed a lawsuit in Galveston
to allow him to market his beer, and Starbucks countersued.
Bell said he hopes to sell his special blend again if the
case is settled in his favor…
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